Lunch-Time Crazies

Gather 'round my friends, and I shall tell you a tale of a true lunch-time crazy. Her name and origin are unknown, but some things you probably don't want to know.

Brian and I decide to head out to Perkins for an enjoyable lunch the other day. It started out great, we didn't have to sit in the bad waitress's section. Huzzah. Victory was ours for the taking!

We got a nice booth on the side with only one other booth adjoining. We had a very nice waitress to take our orders and were waiting quietly enjoying our beverages, when all of a sudden the lady behind Brian starts saying rather outrageous things. She was accusing that the little old man sitting across from her (directly behind Brian) was treating her like crap, and was constantly depleting her self esteem. She chose more trashy words, but sounded basically unhappy with life in general.

She wasn't yelling, but had her voice slightly raised, but then out of nowhere she shoves her soup bowl across the table at the little old man. Brian and I were stunned, but didn't make a run for it. Then faster than we had time to react, she throws her water glass at the little old man and it showers him and Brian. With her other hand she whips her bowl at the little old man, but it soars past both him and Brian and smashes inches away from my head on the wall. I look down and there's porcelain pieces all over me and the bench, Brian's soaking wet, and the crazy lady is yelling and storming out!

By the time we stand up, the lady is already walking out the door, and the little old man stands up and he's covered with soup, water, bread, and whatever else was on the table. He couldn't have been younger than 80. He looked like a sweet old man, and he hadn't said anything during lunch, despite her accusations, but he did say that he didn't need a towel to clean up. He just walked out.

Good riddance! And that my friends, is the tale of a Perkins lunch-time crazy.