Comfort Cookies

Inspired by mi amiga's blog about good old fashioned recipes, I decided to finally publicize my secret recipe. Everyone should bake it. I bet Atomizer will be in the kitchen tomorrow with this recipe in hand.
Here it is:

TEQUILA COOKIES
1 cup of dark brown sugar
1 cup (2 sticks) butter
1 cup of granulated sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups of dried fruit, such as dried cranberries or raisins
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 tsp fresh lemon juice
1 cup coarsely chopped walnuts or pecans
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila (silver or gold, as desired)

- Sample the Cuervo to check quality.

- Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the
highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

- Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl.

- Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again. At this point it's best to
make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup.... just in case.

- Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and
chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

- Pick the frigging fruit off floor... Mix on the turner. If the fried
druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

- Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

- Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.

- Check the Jose Cuervo.

- Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a
spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

- Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall
over.

- Don't forget to beat off the turner.

- Finally, throw the bowl through the window, FINISH the Cose Juervo and
make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.