I love the holiday season with its lights, the shows, the snow, the cheer, and the holiday concerts. With another 2 concerts left, and 3 behind me, it's getting harder and harder to muster up a surplus of good cheer to pass onto others that come each performance to bring in their holiday season. It's easy to let the things around you instill the spirit of Christmas, but how do you become that entity that helps bring it in for others? It's beginning to feel forced and tiresome to do. I know I'll feel differently as soon as I step on stage, it's the process of getting there in an non-scrooge state that I'm having difficulty with.
Many talk about the commercialism of Christmas to the point of it not being a religious holiday anymore, but I never had a problem with it before, until now. Is it just the people involved in "spreading good cheer" that are tired of the excessiveness of Christmas? Or are the Joe's on the street tired of the festivities as well? Why am I suddenly filled with crabbiness this week? Sales, donations, Santa's, decorations, and window displays have taken place for so long, that it wouldn't "feel" like the holiday's without them.
While writing this out, I realize that I'm being incredibly selfish. I was content to let others fill me with the holiday spirit, and yet I'm being grumpy in helping others. This weekend I think I lost the true meaning of Christmas. Good thing I caught it before tonight's concert! Over indulge! Spend lots! Spread good cheer! Have a very happy holiday!